Parenting has become a battle cry in recent years. People are becoming more and more cautious in how their children are being raised. This new rejuvenation in parents taking ownership over their responsibility of leading their children is exciting. We should be encouraging this type of formation more. Children need their father and mother. They also need guidance and wisdom in how to process and handle what life brings. Planning and preparing for the future within the job market, education, social and health are all good investments. Christian parents, we can add spiritual formation to that list as well. But something that maybe overlooked is a good mindset exemplified.
We can tell our children how to navigate and handle their emotions. We can spend hours and financially invest in setting up systems and structures to help them cope with difficulties and challenges. We can do a lot to attempt to form our children's outlook on life. So why not invest in one of the greatest areas that influences their mindset the most; you the parent.
Our children learn most through observation. Things are not just taught; they are caught. Kids are like a sponge when it comes to us, the parents. The health of our outlook on life and even our own mindset in how we raise them plays a bigger role than we ever give it credit. (good or bad) The parent's mindset often produces the mindset of the child. If we are overly cautious so are they. If we are impulsive so are they. But also, how we react to our children's mindset influences their mindset as well.
We understand this through catchy quotes: "Like father, like son".
We even understand on some basic level when they are babies and toddlers. How we react when they fall determines whether or not they cry. We have the ability to create self fulfilling prophesies within our children. However, when they get older we overlook this ability. We think they out grow it but in fact it just becomes stronger and more complex.
Just look at this recent pew research that reveals the top concerns of parents post covid. What do you notice about the mindset of parents that may correlate with what we are seeing in the leading issues effecting the next generation?
Note: that these are not even things that their own children are necessarily facing, yet they are already concerned. "At some point" is not a guarantee. Here, are more facts that came out from this particular study.
More than four-in-ten parents describe themselves as overprotective
Most parents say parenting is harder than they expected, but give themselves high marks for the job they’re doing
Mothers are more likely than fathers to say they feel judged for how they parent, except when it comes to judgment from a spouse or partner
Now, Pew Research taking this poll is, in of itself, possibly a misnomer. ("blatantly asking their pollers what they are worried about" vs "are they worried at all") However, here is the biggest thing you could take away from the stats:
Is our parent mindset reactive to the world around us?
If we as parents, allow our mind to be shaped by the worries and anxieties of today then what will our mindset lead our children towards? Can our reactive state be the source of what we are seeing our children struggling with? It is a hard question because it means having to look at ourselves. It is easier to focus on our children's problems and address them like a mathematical equation or a project that just needs the right tools. However, the more difficult thing to pursue is addressing our everyday mindset and our behavior so that it is a positive variable rather than a negative.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
Romans 12:2a
The Bible calls us to daily focus on the truth of God's Word and allow that to shape how we navigate our lives. Our own mindset needs intentionality. And rather than reactive, our mind needs to be leading with truth. This is why at Kingship we want to help you build a strong understanding of yourself, and yourself as a parent.
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