Upon obtaining my driver’s license as a teenager, I was gifted the responsibility of caretaker of the old family car. It was a turquoise hundred thousand mile scratched up mercury mystique. In the late 90’s, this particular model earned itself a catchy nickname… the mercury mistake. Did it make a funny noise when it turned on? Was it the fancy car that I fantasized owning year one out of the gate? Who cares? It was mine. Four doors and a steering wheel meant freedom. You treasured that car… you honored that car.
Nowadays, you drive around and see these little teenagers behind the wheels of fancy cars with monthly payments only hedge fund CEOs can truly afford. Granted there was always that one kid back in the day but now it seems like they’ve multiplied, much like an infestation of inexperienced spoiled drivers on the road. Your inner pessimistic old man can’t help but to surface, frustrated at the sight of “Kids driving fancy cars”.
Who in their right mind is handing them the keys to these extravagant innovations? You have to earn such a car. Don’t you know the causes of “entitlement”? Many of these luxuries belong being kept in a showroom; not in the hands of a teenager who prioritizes trying to look cool while struggling to get out of first gear in a manual car. They wrestle with confidence issues hoping no one knows they don’t know what they're doing, all at the same time thinking it's a good idea to experiment with the laws of physics.
Your thinking, they barely remember the rules of the road, they have very little life experience, and here they are responsible for the care and well being of daddy’s most prized procession.
Don’t be insulted, but in many ways…
you just described Fatherhood.
Dads are nothing more than “Kids Driving Fancy Cars.”
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t ask myself, “what am I doing?” when it comes to raising my kids. Dads struggle with confidence issues, hoping no one notices that we are still trying to figure it out. If only our kids would just stop growing up we could conquer each phase ready for the challenges of the next. And yeah, we are experimenting. We’re trying to have a relationship all while having no idea if we’re damaging our kid’s psyche while trying to help them ride a bike. It’s hard enough with the gawkers hovering and us interrupting their thoughts, “who let this guy become a dad.”
We don’t exactly live in a culture that promotes the engaged dad. The mom is glorified as a single handed conquer, while the message from courtrooms to our kids programming is that dad is a buffoon. Moms have their own battle of what society perceives but Dads have to convince their kids that the “Saturday” morning cartoon is lying about not being able to look up to their dad as a component, strong, and relational leader.
We always complained about how our parents messed us up only to discover the internal fear we live with that we are doing the same thing, while trying to raise our own. To put it plainly…
“Who in their right mind handed us the keys to these extravagant innovations?”
God did.
It’s overlooked, and you can question Him or not, but God gifts us with the responsibility and care of our children. They are His treasure and joy. He loves them more than we could ever love. And He gives them to us. That should mean something to us. God values us enough to give us this role and He sees something in us that we don’t even see in ourselves. And its not to be the prefect dad. It’s the ability to trust God in being a dad.
The real struggle is not in capability. It’s in choosing to acknowledge God’s reign over our kids. He wants us to lead by following. Meaning, He is asking us to pursue His direction in how we raise our kids. And that involves a lot of trust and surrender. In the biggest arena, it involves letting go of controlling the outward persona of how we are doing based on other peoples standards.
I’m not talking about ignoring helpful feed-back from Christ-focused support systems, but in letting go of the preserved expectation that you and the world generate onto yourself.
The role very much looks foolish and impossible to conquer. God uses the foolish to shame what thinks it is wise without Him. Day one we are already over our heads, regardless of how many books we’ve read. Life perpetuates forward at a pace in which we could never keep up. To top it off, no two are truly alike. Our kids are so unique and require specific types of engagements and needs from their parents. They specifically need you. They uniquely need their unique dad. And regardless of how well prepared we are or unsure of what to do; we should own the notion that, yes, we are kids driving fancy cars. We are mere children in this life gifted the reward of raising a precious treasure of God’s.
At times we will fail, drop the ball, and handle it poorly. But if we acknowledge God’s authorship in our story as a dad; we can trust His grace to cover us in this role. It should humble us and daunt us; wanting to be a Father like Him. But it also should free us to enjoy the gift of being a dad and enjoy the life that He has created.
Biblical Reflection:
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
They will not be ashamed
When they speak with their enemies in the gate. // Psalm 127:3-5
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. // Ephesians 4:1
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. // Psalm 103:13
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